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 Driving the train 
Flipper
Sergeant
Sergeant

Joined: 20 Jan 2021
Posts: 47
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A train conductor is operating a train with 50 passengers . He misses the last stop be cause he is too busy penting on a G-pot and crashes the train killing everyone on the train but him. He gets sentenced to death by electrocution due to his negligence. After several years, his day finally comes for his last meal he request just a single banana. After eating his banana, he goes into the execution room and sits on the chair and gets strapped in. The warden pulls the switch but nothing happens. The staff check all the connections and everything is working properly, yet repeated attempts have no effect on him.
His attorney presents a loophole in the law stating his client should be set free. A judge recognizes this and the next day they reluctantly let him go.
After a few weeks, the train conductor hears a train whistle blow off in the distance. He gets an overwhelming urge to get behind the "wheel" of a train again. He headed to the train yard and discovers a train just idling at the station unattended. This time he forgot to slow down at a turn and derails the train. the cars where carrying hazardous materials that spill into a nearby river, contaminating a town's water supply.
He stands trial and the judge, thinking it may have been done on purpose, sentences him to death post haste. After only two years on death row his day arrives and he is asked what he wants for his last meal. He chooses 2 bananas. He eats them, then is escorted down the hall, enters the execution room, and sits on the chair. He gets given the lethal shock, but nothing happens. They try a few more times with the same result.
Again, his lawyer stands up and argues about the loophole and they are compelled to let him go.
A couple of weeks later he sees another train engine idling unattended. He tries to resist the urge but tells himself if it is just the engine and no cars, it should be OK.
Unfortunately, due to the lack off weight, the engine gets going way too fast, jumps the tracks, plows through a nursing home and a preschool, killing everyone but himself.
The judge sentences him, with extreme prejudice and sentences him to death within the week.
For his last meal he asks for 3 bananas.The warden says "Oh Hell No! I think the bananas have been making you invulnerable to the chair" so instead he got the standard fair of a big juicy cheeseburger and fries. He gets strapped into the chair and when he survives multiple shocks again, they ask "How are you surviving? We didn't let you have any bananas!"
He replies "It's not the bananas. I'm just a bad conductor."
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